Welcome

I have considered a blog for as long as I can remember. I finally took the plunge after seeing someone else start up a blog from Indy Moms.

It's the holiday season and I am finding this year to be easier than the previous three. I'm not sure how I feel about that... I want to feel happy for myself but I am still so sad for Brandon? And then there's little Grayson, who is an awesome little guy and who deserves a mom who is aware and participating in life. It's the biggest conundrum and saddest thing I know... trying to balance myself between my two little boys in two different places. I am learning to find that balance, but I am still a little lopsided, not wanting to leave Bran behind as I move forward with Grayson.

I am having a little minor surgery next week. I am hoping that this will increase our chances of conceiving a little someone. I find it interesting and different that I am having trouble getting pregnant, as I have never been in this situation. My boys just kind of appeared in my belly without even trying to put them there! I would love a little GracieJane Elizabeth, but a Trace Tyler would make me just as happy. *Sigh* Life is so hard sometimes. Nothing comes easy, especially in my world.

So my first post! And got a little deep into feelings and emotions! Silly, emotional girl. I'm going to post this and see what happens. Welcome to A to the Z!