Saturdays

I shop on Saturdays. It has become my norm. I did that today. Nothing too exciting, and I didn't even use all of my allotted time?

However, one thing did happen. I stopped the car in the middle of the country, got out and screamed. Afterwards, I gave myself a swift kick in the arse and realized that I can do ANYTHING I want to in this life... except bring Brandon back. I simply CANNOT bring him back. That's a hard pill to swallow. I am so used to focusing on what I want and working hard to make it happen. But no matter how hard I try, I will never see that sweet face again. Not in this lifetime.

Life isn't fair. My life isn't fair. I want my baby back. And all the wanting and pleading and begging and screaming will not bring him back. It's the saddest thing I know.

I found a beautiful little family to accept Brandon's Gifts this year. It will make my heart smile to know that there will be boys on this planet opening gifts from Brandon. I'm sure he will be smiling down on those little guys as they open their gifts. Their Brandon Gifts.

My friend Coop is gone until Jan 6. Talking to her will be touch and go. I haven't heard anything from her psycho boyfriend (ex?) in a week. Thank goodness. We really don't need people like that in our life. But Coop... I've got a soft spot for her. Even if she is an idiot sometimes. She got 60 more days tacked on to her sentence for refusing a drug test. I'm not sure what's up with that? I thought she was doing better? It makes me want to help her even more. I love that girl. She is the epitomy of being a friend. We are Biffles, now and always. I just wish she would get her shit together and start really living life. But she has to get her life back first. I can't wait to see her again.

Tomorrow is church (!) and laundry and dishes and WRAPPING. Good Grief. Do we really know this many people?! It makes me feel good to give though. It warms my soul.

Another crazy post. I will get the hang of blogging one of these days. Til then-

A to the Zzzzzzzzz....!